It's been a while since my last post here on Death Rattle. In my time off I talked with the big cheese at this fine web site, Mr. Jesse Herman (AKA Lloyds Apple). We discussed a few changes in the format and content of the site to make it more user friendly and expand the scope of what we talk about beyond sports. I'm sure he'll have more on these updates in the near future. So without further ado, let's get back to the ramblings.

Internet Sissies

Since the invention and proliferation of the internet, cyberspace has become a safe haven for shit talking zeros to dispense hate with impunity. Check out any YouTube or break.com video and read the racist, hateful posts that inevitably follow any and everything on either site. The internet has taken a strange turn in the past few years where anonymous douchebags cut down anybody that puts some part of their life out there for people to see. Everybody has an opinion, and everybody is a critic. As a person that loves to give their opinion, I appreciate the outlet. But I think the freedom the internet provides is being abused. There is no retribution for the things people post because their real identities remain a mystery. This makes a lot of people very brave. At this point you might be wondering how a guy who writes under the name onearmedbandit has any right to say any of this. I'm glad you asked.

My first act at the new and improved DeathRattleSports.com will be to pull away the veil of anonymity. My nickname was never meant to be a way to hide my identity, but it was a catchy name that I thought people would remember. I took the moniker because I have one hand, and it has a certain ring to it. My real name is Nick Petrello. I live in Columbus, Ohio and recently graduated from Ohio University. I'm currently a sports intern at NBC 4 in C-Bus. I grew up near Cleveland and I've got an opinion on anything I'm even slightly informed about, especially sports. I love the outlet this site gives me, and I don't want to hide behind a goofy nickname. I stand by my opinions and welcome all viewpoints, whether you agree with me or not, as long as your argument has some substance. I don't know if this gesture of releasing my name is going to mean anything in the end, but it's something I had to do. So while my moniker on the site will remain onearmedbandit, I am not some anonymous ass who is afraid to stand by the things I say.

More on Fake Fans

I went to my local Giant Eagle a few days ago to pick up some bagels and donuts for my breakfasts this week. It seemed to be a simple enough trip, but when I went to check out I was quickly struck with rage thanks to the way-too-happy-to-be-working-at -a-Giant Eagle checkout guy. He was making predictable small talk with the older gentleman ahead of me in line, which is fine. I understand the need for useless banter when you're working a service job. I wouldn't have had a problem except for that this extremely happy fella was the 1000th fake fan I've encountered on this campus (though he was only the 3rd male fake).

The Buckeyes first round matchup with Siena came up in the chat between Dr. Excitement and the older fella, and Dr. Excitement expressed great joy when the old guy told him that the game wasn't until 9:40, which meant Mr. Happy would get to see the game as his shift would be over. I instantly saw red because this jackass was obviously not a real fan. If he was, he would have taken 15 seconds to look up when his beloved team was playing. A not so warm welcome to the Pantheon of Fake Fans doesn't-know-when-his-team-is-playing guy. You may be an ass, but at least you'll enjoy the male/female ratio in this exclusive club.

NCAA Tournament Thoughts

There's something missing from this year's tournament. For whatever reason, it lacks the impact of every other tournament I've watched. I don't know if it's the lack of buzzer beaters, no Cinderella stories, or the Buckeyes inability to close out a game, but I feel like I'm sleepwalknig through the supposed greatest playoff system in sports. I'm doing OK in my pool as I correctly predicted 13 of 16 of the remaining teams with my Elite 8 still intact. But even the prospect of winning the neverending respect of my peers is enough to get me sufficiently amped up for the last few weeks of the season. As I'm typing this I've come to a shocking realization. I actually miss the BCS.

There's something charming about the imperfection of that stupid system. What's better in sports than debate? And there's no better debate starter than the BCS system that has given us some horrendous championship games while leaving undefeated teams to play in lesser bowls (Auburn, Boise State, Utah, etc). The BCS has given us endless entertainment and frustration. It truly is the gift that keeps on giving. So here's to the Bowl Championship Series. The most entertaining playoff system of them all.

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Lloyds Apple said:

	2 words, 6 syllables....Fucking Hilarious. Although, I love the NCAA tourney. And fake fans help the world go round. Kinda like fake titties!
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