Hey kids, it's been awhile since I've blogged my thoughts on DeathRattle, as I've been much too busy doing other things like getting krunked, chasing girls, working and thinking about how I'm not blogging enough. Yeah I've been doing alot of thinking, that has lead me to here, 8am in Orlando on a Sunday morning. When it's Sunday and "The Sports Reporters" on ESPiN or "Meet The Press" on NBC has not yet come on, it's too fucking early. Too early to even start bugging my friends with early wake up calls for their thoughts on the night before and the meaning of early wake-up calls in relation to the fragility of life itself.

Since my last contribution of value a black man has been elected President of The United States of America (never mind the half irish thing). I had lots to say about that, as I hoped Obama would run for president long ago. He spoke to me, I listened. But no, meaningful blog postings were not meant to be because frankly everyone else had something to say about it, I was tired and I had better things not to do.

Shit Be Unfair (Real Time: The moment after I typed "Shit Be Unfair", I leaned back in my chair and the back rest broke)

This whole BCS Championship selection thing has arrived and we can expect a Florida/Oklahoma match-up. Texas is left grasping at the unfairness of life and all that is college football. A 45-35 win over Oklahoma is not good enough, Texas, now try again later when your team is sexier. Truth is, Texas and USC probably stand the best chance to beat Florida. Maybe that's my way of devaluing a troubling Gator Championship but in truth USC is the one team I think would beat Florida.

So, Shit be unfair. The BCS mess is just one example of that. There are others.

Parka Boots are worn by Women and Gays in Fashion Brilliance

The gays in Cali are pissed about the whole proposition 8 thing that Jack Black is singing about and Keith Olberman special commenting, possibly truly offended at the audacity of hate. I'm not a hater, let the gays get married. As Mason Jennings says, "Freedom is the ability to feel love for everyone." But in reality, I'm too busy to give a shit. Ask me my opinion and I'll tell ya, but as far as sympathy don't expect any. For god sakes people, America just elected a black man president, don't push it or we'll take recess away permanently. We let gays show public displays of affection and prance around in their winter boots without really noticing these days. In return we get clean streets and culture. Give us hetero folks a few more years of having affairs, getting divorced and devaluing the sanctity of marriage and talk to us then. Until then, go watch Bravo, say 50 OUR FATHERS and 100 HAIL MERRY MARY's.

The Big 3 took my baby away?

The Big 3 automakers are crying unfair because the bankers were loaned a whole lot more billions of cash and they did not even need to drive in hybrids or conduct as nice of a power point presentation. How fucking unfair. As it turns out, the Big 3 will likely get their billions and fairness will dance in the streets and fill the dreams of sleeping boys and girls throughout the hills, valleys and plains of The United States of America. And oh yeah, the city of Detroit is a shit hole.

Fuck the Handicap and the Parking Spot Laws

Handicap people get all the best parking spots and rarely fill them. I think that's unfair as a young guy, eager to save a minute at the expense of those less fortunate than me. Far too many spots for disabled people are available for old people who probably would be best served in a fresh garden, blended as compost along with a condensed helping of pig shit. Damn, that makes me hungry for some fresh Veggies. At my old house in Ohio my father maintained a garden with fresh zucchini, peppers, tomatoes and other stuff. We would fry the zucchini. We would dump salt and pepper on the tomatoes and one time I got Thai pepper juice on my wang and it burnt for hours. The moral of the story: eating healthy is great but it's probably best to die young, before you have to lean on the unfair crutches that are handicap parking spots.

Blah

The unfairness extends into my own life. I went to do community service this morning for a DUI I got back in April. Even though I've done it before, this lady pointed out that the date on my sheet was wrong (the courts fault) so I have to get that fixed before serving the community. In reality, I think I was the only person that showed up this morning and she found her "out". Seems unfair and shitty to me. Then again, I'm an asshole. A self indulgent turtle, who just learned how to float and wants to be swallowed by the sea--but the waves keep crashing in.

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