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Sometimes the news just makes you think. Sometimes it makes you just
downright depressed. Then there's the news category of "What were you
thinking?"
In the "Way to make a great impression on your new bosses" department......
Former
Georgia Tech quarterback and Heisman runner-up Joe Hamilton was
arrested early Tuesday morning (read- right about closing time ) for
driving under the influence, open container, hit-and-run, pot
possession and abusing the Cinco de Mayo Holiday. Senor Hamilton was
pulled over in Fulton County after his car matched the description of
one that was involved in a hit-and-run earlier. His front bumper also
had paint marks that matched the color of a car he allegedly
rear-ended.
After failing field sobriety tests, Joe blew a
staggering .193 and .199 into the stunned breathalyzer. Oh yeah, Jose
is torched. After the friendly policeman noticed the Heineken bottle on
the floorboard and the blunt in the ashtray, I guess he just had to arrest the dude.
Hamilton
had just been hired by Georgia Tech on April 28th as Assistant Director
of Player Personnel. Nice, Joe, our hearty congrats. I'm sure you
already have made a huge splash with the recruits, and as a side note,
we can't think of a better way to make a grand entrance into your new
employers' offices.
The school's only comment was the usual,
"The matter is under investigation, and appropriate action will be
taken upon completion of the investigation" canned response, and can't
you just sense the impending "He will be placed on indefinite
suspension until August 15th" announcement? Ole!
In the "Guess how many brain cells I lost today?" department.....
Garrett
Reid, son of Philly coach Andy Reid, pleaded guilty to drug smuggling
Wednesday and was sentenced to two years in a state prison. Reid was
smuggling drugs into his Montgomery County Jail cell where he
is serving time for drug related charges . Can we all just pause and
reflect on that a minute?
It's not like this moron is a regular
inmate; he's high profile, baby, and probably gets special treatment
and lots of monitoring for his own protection. So what part of his
brain thought he wouldn't get caught smuggling 89 pills into his cell?
( I won't bore you on "how" he smuggled them in, but take a wild guess)
Isn't the whole goal, while being in jail, to try and get out as fast
as possible? Not incur more time? IN THE BIG HOUSE?
The DA says he may qualify for a prison drug-treatment program that may reduce his time. OK, how did he qualify for that? If he can't follow the laws in society, gets busted, sent to jail, and continues to break the law while in
jail, how does he qualify for a program that, A) rewards him with a
lessor sentence and, B) is something that clearly he doesn't want? Is
he really this big of buffoon, or he is somehow hoping (insert NFL
coach's name here) might pay him a visit and take him as a free agent?
In
the "Just because it was my gun, the gun never left my house, and it
was found at my car wash doesn't mean I shot him" department.....
It has come to light that even if Colts
wide receiver Marvin Harrison didn't shoot anyone, he may be subject to
fines and/or suspensions due to the NFL's Personal Conduct Policy.
For today's laugh, I give you their policy: .
"Engaging in violent and/or criminal activity is unacceptable and
constitutes conduct detrimental to the integrity of and public
confidence in the National Football League. Such conduct alienates the
fans on whom the success of the League depends and has negative and
sometimes tragic consequences for both the victim and the perpetrator.
The League is committed to promoting and encouraging lawful conduct and
to providing a safe and professional workplace for its employees."
Attention Roger Goodell. Integrity of the NFL? Public Confidence in the NFL? Professional workplace? Promoting lawful conduct???????????????? Does
Jerry Jones know about this? The Bengals? Can I make a list of all the
players who have apparently violated this policy and then been given
slaps on the wrists while still playing in this "professional
workplace"? Would it be easier if I named the ones who haven't violated
this policy? Just give me a post-it note. And five minutes.
In the "I want my Mommy" department.......
Cedric
"the Entertainer" Benson, who is presumably awaiting Johnny Cochran's
anticipated press conference (aren't we all?), was reportedly to have
been crying for his mommy while getting man-handled by some Texas
police officers. Since I don't follow the Bears, I don't know a lot
about this guy, but I do know this.....he's a wimp. He sounds like the
kind of guy who can break out a 25-yard run and then break his ankle.
Oh wait! He did.
The weird thing about this whole Benson saga
is one of the witnesses claiming she called her dad to call 911. Here's
a thought.... why didn't you call 911 instead of calling your
dad? Elizabeth Cartwright said, "I called my dad and told him, 'Call
911, my black friend is getting beaten up by police on Lake Travis."
Her black friend? I'm speechless here. And if she's on the boat, how
can her dad know where to send the cops? She's there, he's not. "Yeah,
hi, police? My daughter just called and she's on a lake somewhere
needing help. Can you help her? She's the one on a boat."
Who
believes a running back who cried for his mommy won't be the target of
every defensemen's smack in the NFL? Who thinks Cedric might have a
civil rights case? Who thinks Cedric's blood alcohol test results won't
make front page headlines? Who thinks the NFL has a serious image
problem? Good luck, Cedric.
In the "OMG, I hope no one sees this photo" department......
{mosimage}
That
would be Tyler Hansbrough. Jumping from the second story of a
fraternity house into a small pool of water. Bobby Frasor, his compadre
on the Tar Heels basketball team, also took a dive. You remember Bobby,
don't ya? The PG who ripped his knee up? Is it possible he took the "rehab in the pool" regimen wrong? Did he misremember the instructions?
Can
we all count the pretty little cameras taking pictures of this? Think
someone will be paid handsomely for the video? Think Roy Williams just
saw his life pass before his eyes?
If you're a Tar Heel fan, just how sinking is that feeling in your stomach?
If you're a Duke fan, well, you're welcome.
Hansbrough photo: 850: The Buzz.
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Nice article Nick. Maybe the Big 12 title game...
Hey thanks for bumping this back up. I complet...
