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Voters Get It Right: Tebow Wins Heisman Print E-mail
Written by onearmedbandit   
Sunday, 09 December 2007

{mosimage} Despite the hatred I should have for any Florida Gator after last year's 41-14 championship debacle, I can't help but be happy for Tim Tebow.

More importantly, I'm happy for true college football fans.

With all of the venom directed at the BCS this week, it was encouraging to see this vote go the way it should have. Tebow set the SEC (a "rugged" conference according to Chris Fowler 8 different times) record for rushing touchdowns, had 51 total scores, and led the Gators to the #9 ranking heading into a should-be blowout of Michigan despite being a first year starter and having a subpar defense. Darren McFadden has to be pissed finishing second again, but he couldn't match what Tebow did.

I went into this admiring Tebow's skills and believing that he deserved this award. I came away with the same thoughts and feelings, but with something added: hatred for those involved with the presentation. The Gameday crew could not stop slobbering on Tebow's knob for the last 15 minutes of the show. If I didn't know better, I would think that Tebow is the second coming of Jesus Christ.

Corso, Herbstreit, and Fowler's erections were more visible than Don Shula's old man balls this week on Monday Night Football. Almost as disconcerting as the Gameday crew's boners was that Tim Tebow's dad is a robot. His face did not move in any of the dozen or so shots of him that ESPN blessed us with. To cap off a brilliant broadcast, Lee Corso actually claimed that no better human had ever won the award. Really, Lee? Did you do background checks on every Heisman winner since the award's inception or are you just spewing hyperbolic garbage? With my mother in the room, I actually addressed Lee Corso's face on my television with a "why don't you just blow him Lee. It would make this whole process a lot quicker." I get it, Tim Tebow is a better football player and human than any of us could ever hope to be. I can appreciate that Tebow is a wholesome All American boy straight out of Leave It To Beaver, but this was just overkill.

If he's as great as the Gameday crew says he is, then I will fly him to Ohio tonight so that he can work his Tebow magic and sprout me a right hand. Better yet, send him to the Middle East so that he can settle all of this conflict that's been going on for the past 2,000 years. All in a day's work for Tim Christ. In hindsight, I wish Darren McFadden had won the award, just so I could have been spared the douche chill factory that was the final 15 minutes of the Heisman broadcast. The worst part is that Tebow is a sophomore. Barring some unforeseen circumstance, he will be back in New York for the Heisman presentation a year from now so that we can again witness God's gift to regular people, Tim Tebow.

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Last Updated ( Monday, 10 December 2007 )
 
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